We ended up going to mediation without an advocate. I'm not sure I would hire an advocate again based on my own experience. Someone else's mileage may differ. The advocate was knowledgeable and nice, but he didn't get any further with our neighborhood school than we did.
We went to mediation because it was clear our neighborhood school was not going to provide services for our son. Period. I had to ask myself if I was fighting for my son or fighting just for inclusion. When I realized I just wanted what was best for my son and that the neighborhood school didn't want him there, I knew we needed to move him to another school. Why would I want him at a school that didn't want him? It was a high-achieving school with very strict demographics. Not a bad school if your child fits into their specified box.
The alternative elementary school the district proposed was at least a fifteen minute drive from our house, without traffic. It would've been physically impossible to pick up my son and pick up my other kids from their schools. We took a request for a different, closer, elementary school to mediation. We also insisted on more inclusion than initially offered.
We also requested that our daughter be given the opportunity to transfer with her brother if she desired, but be allowed to return to the middle school she is zoned for, so she could reconnect with friends.
The mediator was a very kind woman who was so calm. She took all the previous contention we'd felt and washed it away. She was excellent and at the end of a very long day, we received what we had requested.
We removed our son from our neighborhood school. The kids in his class were quite upset. Some of the girls cried in class. One boy went home and cried to his mom about my son leaving. (They later had a play date initiated by this boy to see each other again). My daughter decided it was much more important to her to be in the same school with her brother than to be with her friends. She felt like she needed to be with him to watch over him. We transferred them both to the new school in February.
Stay tuned for our experience in the new school.
Showing posts with label Down syndrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Down syndrome. Show all posts
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Every Baby Deserves to Live
I recently watched a video about a couple who shared their very personal journey about having a child with Trisomy 13. It was so touching. They received the diagnosis that their son had a rare chromosomal abnormality after they had an ultrasound. Of course, they were given the option to terminate the pregnancy.
With such a dire diagnosis, and the reality that their son would die soon after birth, a choice to terminate would seem the rational thing to do, but that is not what they chose. I loved the line at the end. This was their son. They chose to give him a few days of life because he deserved to feel their love and to know they wanted him.
We live in such a disposable society. 90% of all pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome are terminated. Whether that is due to fear, ignorance, or selfishness, the outcome is the same. And so is the message: A child that is imperfect is disposable.
Everyone wants that "perfect" baby. And yet, there are no guarantees that the "perfect" baby won't have autism, or learning disabilities, or suffer an accident or illness that incapacitates the child. Or worse, how many "perfect" babies are now in prison as a result of heinous acts? There are no guarantees.
Every baby deserves to live and deserves to be loved.
With such a dire diagnosis, and the reality that their son would die soon after birth, a choice to terminate would seem the rational thing to do, but that is not what they chose. I loved the line at the end. This was their son. They chose to give him a few days of life because he deserved to feel their love and to know they wanted him.
We live in such a disposable society. 90% of all pregnancies diagnosed with Down syndrome are terminated. Whether that is due to fear, ignorance, or selfishness, the outcome is the same. And so is the message: A child that is imperfect is disposable.
Everyone wants that "perfect" baby. And yet, there are no guarantees that the "perfect" baby won't have autism, or learning disabilities, or suffer an accident or illness that incapacitates the child. Or worse, how many "perfect" babies are now in prison as a result of heinous acts? There are no guarantees.
Every baby deserves to live and deserves to be loved.
Post by Larry Williams.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Ten Things About My Son
1. He loves to laugh and to make others laugh. This kid was born to perform.
2. He is an electronics whiz. He can figure out computers, phones, iPads, iPods, cameras. I always tell people to keep their electronics out of his grasp. He's been known to hijack my phone and text his siblings with his name.
3. He loves to take photos and videos of himself. He'll watch said videos on the iPad for hours. He prefers to watch his selfie videos over movies and cartoons.
4. He comforts others. If he seems that someone is sad, he will put his arm around that person. He is very compassionate.
5. He has taught himself to swim, and he loves to go swimming. He'll run upstairs to his room and put on his swimsuit almost every day.
6. He loves to sing. His favorite songs are, "Happy Birthday," "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and "Nephi's Courage."
7. He can read. He uses his decoding skills to sound out unfamiliar words on signs, menus, books, newspapers. He likes to show others that he can read.
8. His favorite computer game is Batman 2. He'll even eat his vegetables if it means he can play Batman 2.
9. He is grossed out by his older brother's armpit hair. He thinks it's disgusting when we're in the pool and his brother lifts up his arm. Little does he know, someday he'll have his own armpit hair.
10. He can count to 20 and can do simple addition. He loves to play math games on www.abcya.com.
2. He is an electronics whiz. He can figure out computers, phones, iPads, iPods, cameras. I always tell people to keep their electronics out of his grasp. He's been known to hijack my phone and text his siblings with his name.
3. He loves to take photos and videos of himself. He'll watch said videos on the iPad for hours. He prefers to watch his selfie videos over movies and cartoons.
4. He comforts others. If he seems that someone is sad, he will put his arm around that person. He is very compassionate.
5. He has taught himself to swim, and he loves to go swimming. He'll run upstairs to his room and put on his swimsuit almost every day.
6. He loves to sing. His favorite songs are, "Happy Birthday," "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and "Nephi's Courage."
7. He can read. He uses his decoding skills to sound out unfamiliar words on signs, menus, books, newspapers. He likes to show others that he can read.
8. His favorite computer game is Batman 2. He'll even eat his vegetables if it means he can play Batman 2.
9. He is grossed out by his older brother's armpit hair. He thinks it's disgusting when we're in the pool and his brother lifts up his arm. Little does he know, someday he'll have his own armpit hair.
10. He can count to 20 and can do simple addition. He loves to play math games on www.abcya.com.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
He Plays Baseball
He does so many "typical" kid things, including playing baseball. He plays on a special team that was created, and is supported, by a local baseball association. He has a game every week and the season runs the same as the regular one. He first played on this team last spring and he is playing again this fall.
He loves it. He gets so excited when he hits the ball and runs to the bases (and now we're happy that he runs in the right direction). When he hits home plate, he bows and throws kisses to the crowd.
Yeah, it isn't a regular team and the rules are different, but he has a uniform, he catches hits by players on the other team, he hits the ball, he runs the bases, and he's learned the rules. In my book, that's baseball.
Each week a team from one of the high schools volunteers to help the players on this team. When it's a boys baseball team, my son is all business. When it's a girls softball team, he becomes Don Juan and spends most of the game flirting with the teenage girls.
All in all, it's a great experience and we're having fun.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
A Child, First and Foremost
My son attends an elementary school with 900+ students. That is six times larger than the elementary school my other kids attended. There are lots and lots of kids at this school.
Each morning we get in line to drop the kids off. I'm not a big fan of this process--we spend so much time waiting in line each day to drop of and pick up kids from school. We drop our daughter off right in front of the entrance then drive down to take our son to the gym where the kids in his grade meet each morning.
Today, a blond-haired boy walked with us. He knew my son by name and said hi to him. He told me all about himself on the way to the gym. When my son walked into the gym, he was met with kids waving at him and calling out his name. Everyone knows his name and kids talk to him and pat him on the back all the time. He's kind of the resident rock star.
Of course, they know his speech is not as developed as theirs, so he struggles to verbally communicate, but they don't seem to care. They seem to like him despite his challenges. One boy in particular is always by him, always helping him if he needs it, and always has a big smile on his face when he sees my son. This boy has taken my son under his wing and he is so, so sweet.
At this age, the kids are so accepting. They see my son as part of their class and part of their school experience.
Back in the day, kids like my son were separated from the general population. They didn't interact with typical kids. Fortunately, we've learned that in order to break down barriers and foster understanding we need to include kids with special needs in everyday situations, including school.
Numerous studies indicate that where a child with special needs is included, it not only benefits that child with special needs, but also benefits the other children and teaches those children things they cannot learn any other way. The kids that interact with my son are learning so much from him and he is learning so much from them. I am grateful he has the chance to interact with all of these kids.
And I am grateful for the kids who go the extra mile. The kids who play with him. The kids that invite him to play dates. The kids that just see him as another kid, because that's what he is.
A child with Down syndrome is still a child who wants to be loved, to have friends, and to enjoy life. A child with Down syndrome has gifts, talents, fears, strengths, weaknesses, dreams. A child with Down syndrome may look a little different or do some things differently, but he or she is a child first and foremost.
Each morning we get in line to drop the kids off. I'm not a big fan of this process--we spend so much time waiting in line each day to drop of and pick up kids from school. We drop our daughter off right in front of the entrance then drive down to take our son to the gym where the kids in his grade meet each morning.
Today, a blond-haired boy walked with us. He knew my son by name and said hi to him. He told me all about himself on the way to the gym. When my son walked into the gym, he was met with kids waving at him and calling out his name. Everyone knows his name and kids talk to him and pat him on the back all the time. He's kind of the resident rock star.
Of course, they know his speech is not as developed as theirs, so he struggles to verbally communicate, but they don't seem to care. They seem to like him despite his challenges. One boy in particular is always by him, always helping him if he needs it, and always has a big smile on his face when he sees my son. This boy has taken my son under his wing and he is so, so sweet.
At this age, the kids are so accepting. They see my son as part of their class and part of their school experience.
Back in the day, kids like my son were separated from the general population. They didn't interact with typical kids. Fortunately, we've learned that in order to break down barriers and foster understanding we need to include kids with special needs in everyday situations, including school.
Numerous studies indicate that where a child with special needs is included, it not only benefits that child with special needs, but also benefits the other children and teaches those children things they cannot learn any other way. The kids that interact with my son are learning so much from him and he is learning so much from them. I am grateful he has the chance to interact with all of these kids.
And I am grateful for the kids who go the extra mile. The kids who play with him. The kids that invite him to play dates. The kids that just see him as another kid, because that's what he is.
A child with Down syndrome is still a child who wants to be loved, to have friends, and to enjoy life. A child with Down syndrome has gifts, talents, fears, strengths, weaknesses, dreams. A child with Down syndrome may look a little different or do some things differently, but he or she is a child first and foremost.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Our School Journey, Part 2
We had thought we would enroll our son in our local school in Colorado where we had lived for the last 19 years. Things changed, and we moved from Colorado to Texas right before he was set to start first grade.
The law in Texas requires parents to enroll their children in the school that geographically serves the area where they live. We enrolled him in the elementary school that serves our subdivision. We had hoped for a positive experience for all of us.
From the beginning, though, we knew this was not going to be an awesome experience because this school was not equipped to offer him any services, including an aide. We'd been told they would never give him an aide/ Because the school district is so large (50,000 students) they do not offer services at every elementary, but rather have designated schools with services. Our local elementary was not a designated school for the services he needed.
We had meetings and asked for modifications and accommodations, but we were met with resistance. A lot of resistance. They did not want to keep him in that school. At all. He had to go through testing in order to qualify for services that we all knew he needed, with the end result being that he would have to attend another school. We wanted him to stay in our neighborhood school where his older sister attended as well as neighborhood kids and children from church, and give him the help he needed to be successful.. We believed that was the intent of the law regarding students with special needs, especially because that is exactly what it said (children with special needs should not be moved from their neighborhood school just because they need accommodations or modifications to the curriculum) What it said and how this district interpreted what it said, we found out, were two completely different things.
We went round and round. At one meeting it got quite heated. We quoted the law, we pointed out successful inclusion stories, we shared our own experiences with him and his ability to learn, and we showed them graphs and comparison charts collected by reputable researchers in inclusion studies. It did not matter. The bottom line was they were not going to provide any services for him at that school. they were not happy that we kept asking for meetings and one of the district staff members did not treat us very well.
(As a side note, when I was at the neighborhood school, the kids had to stay in lines, could not speak in the halls, had to always face forward in their lines, had to walk down the halls with their hands behind their backs, It felt much more like a military school with all of its rigid requirements. It was not a warm, welcoming atmosphere at all).
We hired an advocate to help us. We attended a Wrightslaw Conference. We read and studied. Yet, every thing we brought up in the meetings was met with, "We're sorry, but we are not required to provide that for your son. You will have to move him to another school." That meant disrupting my daughter's education and her social network that she had established.
Stay tuned for the next installment in our journey.
The law in Texas requires parents to enroll their children in the school that geographically serves the area where they live. We enrolled him in the elementary school that serves our subdivision. We had hoped for a positive experience for all of us.
From the beginning, though, we knew this was not going to be an awesome experience because this school was not equipped to offer him any services, including an aide. We'd been told they would never give him an aide/ Because the school district is so large (50,000 students) they do not offer services at every elementary, but rather have designated schools with services. Our local elementary was not a designated school for the services he needed.
We had meetings and asked for modifications and accommodations, but we were met with resistance. A lot of resistance. They did not want to keep him in that school. At all. He had to go through testing in order to qualify for services that we all knew he needed, with the end result being that he would have to attend another school. We wanted him to stay in our neighborhood school where his older sister attended as well as neighborhood kids and children from church, and give him the help he needed to be successful.. We believed that was the intent of the law regarding students with special needs, especially because that is exactly what it said (children with special needs should not be moved from their neighborhood school just because they need accommodations or modifications to the curriculum) What it said and how this district interpreted what it said, we found out, were two completely different things.
We went round and round. At one meeting it got quite heated. We quoted the law, we pointed out successful inclusion stories, we shared our own experiences with him and his ability to learn, and we showed them graphs and comparison charts collected by reputable researchers in inclusion studies. It did not matter. The bottom line was they were not going to provide any services for him at that school. they were not happy that we kept asking for meetings and one of the district staff members did not treat us very well.
(As a side note, when I was at the neighborhood school, the kids had to stay in lines, could not speak in the halls, had to always face forward in their lines, had to walk down the halls with their hands behind their backs, It felt much more like a military school with all of its rigid requirements. It was not a warm, welcoming atmosphere at all).
We hired an advocate to help us. We attended a Wrightslaw Conference. We read and studied. Yet, every thing we brought up in the meetings was met with, "We're sorry, but we are not required to provide that for your son. You will have to move him to another school." That meant disrupting my daughter's education and her social network that she had established.
Stay tuned for the next installment in our journey.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
He Loves to Swim
A few months ago, this kid was not swimming at all. He barely tolerated the water. By the end of the summer, he was jumping in, holding his breath, going under water, doing somersaults, and swimming across the jacuzzi part of the pool. He loves it. He learned all of this from being in the pool so much with us this summer.
He loves swimming so much that sometimes he won't get out of the pool. One night the other kids were done swimming and had gone inside the house. I was outside next to the pool watching him, but I was in my clothes. I asked him to get out. He told me he didn't want to. And he meant it. As soon as I got close to one side of the jacuzzi, he swam to the other side. He knew I couldn't reach him without getting into the jacuzzi and since I was dressed, I wasn't going to come in and get him. He thought it was such a fun game. I did not. Finally, I had his older brother get back into his swimsuit and go into the jacuzzi to retrieve Jared.
I was not a happy mom. Jared didn't get to go swimming the next day as a consequence. He hasn't refused to get out of the pool since then.
I am thrilled that he is swimming and that he loves it. He isn't quite ready to brave the main pool. I am hoping that will come as he feels more confident and spends more time in the water.
We're even thinking about putting him on a swim team next spring.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Our School Journey, Part 1
I homeschooled my son for kindergarten and first grade and planned to put him in first grade (holding him back a year) when we enrolled him in our local public school in Colorado.
We decided that I should homeschool him so that I could give him a solid foundation in phonics and reading. I worked with him every day. I had homeschooled most of my other kids for kindergarten and taught them to read based on a well-researched phonics program that our elementary school used. Some of my kids went into first grade reading several years above their grade level. I wanted to make sure I sent them into school reading so none of them would fall through the cracks, because if you can read, you can do anything.
I wanted my son to read like his siblings. I worked on teaching him phonics but it didn't seem to make sense to him. With my other kids, we learned phonics then moved onto sight words using phonics to decode words. My son was different. I had to change what I'd done with my other kids. Instead of learning phonics first, the reverse was true. He needed to learn sight words first.
We worked on sight words. I bought sight word based reading programs. I made flash cards out of index cards. I labeled every day items like fork, spoon, plate, stove, bathroom, etc. I made flashcards for family member's names (remember, I have 10 kids, so learning all the names was no small feat for him). We did flashcards for animal names, colors, numbers, nouns. We read lots of books.
After a while, he started to pick up on phonics, so I switched gears and we worked on the sounds that each letter makes. Some of the letters, like f and v, were harder for him to say, but it didn't take him too long to learn all the letters. He began decoding unfamiliar words. He began reading signs on the road as we drove to town. He read titles of books and he started actually reading sentences inside the books.
We also worked on the computer. He did Raz Kids (subscription), Looney Tunes Phonics (subscription), and Starfall (free). He also worked with www.abcya.com (free), which has all sorts of programs for all grade levels.
I did all of this in hopes of preparing him to enter public school.
We decided that I should homeschool him so that I could give him a solid foundation in phonics and reading. I worked with him every day. I had homeschooled most of my other kids for kindergarten and taught them to read based on a well-researched phonics program that our elementary school used. Some of my kids went into first grade reading several years above their grade level. I wanted to make sure I sent them into school reading so none of them would fall through the cracks, because if you can read, you can do anything.
I wanted my son to read like his siblings. I worked on teaching him phonics but it didn't seem to make sense to him. With my other kids, we learned phonics then moved onto sight words using phonics to decode words. My son was different. I had to change what I'd done with my other kids. Instead of learning phonics first, the reverse was true. He needed to learn sight words first.
We worked on sight words. I bought sight word based reading programs. I made flash cards out of index cards. I labeled every day items like fork, spoon, plate, stove, bathroom, etc. I made flashcards for family member's names (remember, I have 10 kids, so learning all the names was no small feat for him). We did flashcards for animal names, colors, numbers, nouns. We read lots of books.
After a while, he started to pick up on phonics, so I switched gears and we worked on the sounds that each letter makes. Some of the letters, like f and v, were harder for him to say, but it didn't take him too long to learn all the letters. He began decoding unfamiliar words. He began reading signs on the road as we drove to town. He read titles of books and he started actually reading sentences inside the books.
We also worked on the computer. He did Raz Kids (subscription), Looney Tunes Phonics (subscription), and Starfall (free). He also worked with www.abcya.com (free), which has all sorts of programs for all grade levels.
I did all of this in hopes of preparing him to enter public school.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Not a Blob
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Sometimes he is mischievous.
When he was born, I thought he'd be a blob. I didn't think he'd interact with me, his family, or anyone around him. I envisioned him just watching the world pass him by. I didn't think he'd experience much.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Not only is he completely interactive with the world around him, he can get into mischief.
(Even though his current verbal skills prevent him from verbally communicating like kids his age, he absolutely communicates in other ways and interacts with people).
This is the face he makes when he's up to no good. He knows when he is doing something he shouldn't. Like my other kids, he tries to be cute to get out of being in trouble. He also tries to be cute and adorable when he's supposed to go to bed. Unfortunately, sometimes he wins.
The point is that he knows. He isn't just a blob letting life happen to him. He make decisions and choices. He isn't simply acted upon.
My son loves to play a computer game called Batman 2. It's a Lego version and he loves, loves, loves it. We told him that in order for him to play this game, he must receive all "smiley faces" at school for his behavior, work, and participation. Each day when we pick him up, the first thing he does is pull his folder out of his backpack and show us that he has happy faces. Then he says, "Batman 2."
He is capable of making choices and learning how to behave. He continues to learn the difference between right and wrong. He is beginning to understand the consequences to his choices. He knows that if he gets happy faces he can play his game. He has also learned that he can only play his game after he does his homework. No homework, no game. Since he loves this game, it's quite the motivator.
He is not a blob.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
My Son is Just a Kid
We attend church on Sundays. Last week my son's teacher asked me to send her a list of talents he has because the class would be talking about talents.
After church, one of the boys in his class came up to me and said, "Jared has a lot of talents." Then he flashed me a big, toothy grin.
His teacher approached me and talked about how the class had gone. She said that she loved the things I'd sent in about Jared, and it made all the kids in the class realize that he is like them. She said it opened their eyes and gave them a new view of him because he doesn't participate much since his speech skills limit his ability to verbally interact with the other kids.
I think they all realized what I did so many years ago.
He's just a kid.
Yes, he has challenges. It takes him longer to do things. He met his milestones later than his siblings. His speech is very limited.
Still, he's just a kid.
He loves to play Batman 2 on the computer. He plays with his Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys. He loves to swim and jump on the trampoline. He plays on a baseball team. He sings, forgets to flush the toilet, and tries to avoid bedtime. He asks why he has to do homework. He loves to sit on my lap while I read him a book. He doesn't like to eat his vegetables. And like the boy that he is, when he passes gas, he makes sure everyone knows and then he laughs about it. Because body noises are just so funny to boys.
He's just a kid who happens to have Down syndrome.
After church, one of the boys in his class came up to me and said, "Jared has a lot of talents." Then he flashed me a big, toothy grin.
His teacher approached me and talked about how the class had gone. She said that she loved the things I'd sent in about Jared, and it made all the kids in the class realize that he is like them. She said it opened their eyes and gave them a new view of him because he doesn't participate much since his speech skills limit his ability to verbally interact with the other kids.
I think they all realized what I did so many years ago.
He's just a kid.
Yes, he has challenges. It takes him longer to do things. He met his milestones later than his siblings. His speech is very limited.
Still, he's just a kid.
He loves to play Batman 2 on the computer. He plays with his Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys. He loves to swim and jump on the trampoline. He plays on a baseball team. He sings, forgets to flush the toilet, and tries to avoid bedtime. He asks why he has to do homework. He loves to sit on my lap while I read him a book. He doesn't like to eat his vegetables. And like the boy that he is, when he passes gas, he makes sure everyone knows and then he laughs about it. Because body noises are just so funny to boys.
He's just a kid who happens to have Down syndrome.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month
Down syndrome is the most common chromosomal abnormality. It occurs 1 in every 800 live births and more than 350,000 Americans have Down syndrome. It seems that we wouldn't need a month to raise awareness.
But we do.
I still find that people don't know much about DS and many are still uncomfortable and afraid of interacting with people with DS. Many ask me questions, which I truly appreciate. I'd rather have someone ask me a question than have them continue to believe a myth.
I think the biggest myth I've encountered is that people with DS are always happy. People say things like, "Oh, your son is just happy. He must be happy all the time."
Um, nope. Not happy all the time. Downright unhappy sometimes.
My son goes through all the same emotions as my other kids. Yes, he is generally happy, but so are my other kids. He can become frustrated, upset, sad, angry, impatient, silly, or any of the other multitude of emotions we all face.
People with Down syndrome have feelings. Lots of feelings. They express them well sometimes. Other times they do not. Just like the rest of us.
So let's dispense with the stereotype that people with DS are happy all the time and realize they experience the same myriad of feelings we all do.
But we do.
I still find that people don't know much about DS and many are still uncomfortable and afraid of interacting with people with DS. Many ask me questions, which I truly appreciate. I'd rather have someone ask me a question than have them continue to believe a myth.
I think the biggest myth I've encountered is that people with DS are always happy. People say things like, "Oh, your son is just happy. He must be happy all the time."
Um, nope. Not happy all the time. Downright unhappy sometimes.
My son goes through all the same emotions as my other kids. Yes, he is generally happy, but so are my other kids. He can become frustrated, upset, sad, angry, impatient, silly, or any of the other multitude of emotions we all face.
People with Down syndrome have feelings. Lots of feelings. They express them well sometimes. Other times they do not. Just like the rest of us.
So let's dispense with the stereotype that people with DS are happy all the time and realize they experience the same myriad of feelings we all do.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Routines, School Bathrooms, and Not-So-Free Food
My son is adjusting to the routine and schedule at school. I can tell that he's learning things at school that spill over at home.
When we were first potty-training, he wanted me to come watch, clap when he was done, flush the toilet for him, and pull up his pants. Then he wanted me to wash his hands. I was more than pleased to do all of this because it meant no more diapers.
At school, this was a problem. The first week or so he came out of the stall with his pants around his ankles and expected his teacher to do for him what I'd been doing. Reality check. His teacher was not going to do that. She's his teacher, not his mother. Truthfully, I was worried about this.
But then I noticed that at home he was pulling up his own pants, flushing the toilet himself, and washing his hands. I still needed to remind him for a few weeks. Now, he goes into the bathroom at home completely on his own. I never have to remind him. He does his own wiping, he takes care of all his business, and I'm not involved at all.
Through all of this, he's not had an accident. He truly is potty-trained because he now monitors it himself. Hallelujah! I think going to school really helped with this and I think he's learning the routine and schedule at school now. He gets in line after going to the bathroom and sits in the right place, in the right way (the school expects students to sit cross-legged and look forward while in line), and then gets up and follows his class back to their room. He's "getting it" I think.
He did have problems in the school bathroom with being silly and going in and locking all the stalls so the other boys couldn't use the toilet. And he did use the urinal to wash his hands--that still makes me dry heave. I went up to the school for a few days during potty time to make sure he was behaving in the bathroom. Hopefully, it's now resolved. At least I haven't heard back that he's still being silly in there. Or--gag, gag--using the urinal to wash his hands. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
We are still in the midst of testing so we'll see what happens after the testing scores come back. I do know he can read and sound out letters to read unfamiliar words. His handwriting needs work, but he's improving. He needs to work on math facts, but he's slowly coming along.
We did have issues with him at the cafeteria. He saw that there were chicken nuggets and cheese burgers and he figured it was free food (after all, the food at home is free). He'd finish his lunch, then go through the line to get what he wanted from the cafeteria. Of course, it wasn't free. And he wasn't punching in his pin number, they were doing that for him. Once I got the bill, I talked to the cafeteria manager and his teacher and others to make sure he doesn't keep getting food. I pack him a lunch every day. It may not be as exciting as chicken nuggets, but I make it for him with lots of love :).
School has definitely been an adjustment for all of us, but I think it's been a positive one. So far anyway.
When we were first potty-training, he wanted me to come watch, clap when he was done, flush the toilet for him, and pull up his pants. Then he wanted me to wash his hands. I was more than pleased to do all of this because it meant no more diapers.
At school, this was a problem. The first week or so he came out of the stall with his pants around his ankles and expected his teacher to do for him what I'd been doing. Reality check. His teacher was not going to do that. She's his teacher, not his mother. Truthfully, I was worried about this.
But then I noticed that at home he was pulling up his own pants, flushing the toilet himself, and washing his hands. I still needed to remind him for a few weeks. Now, he goes into the bathroom at home completely on his own. I never have to remind him. He does his own wiping, he takes care of all his business, and I'm not involved at all.
Through all of this, he's not had an accident. He truly is potty-trained because he now monitors it himself. Hallelujah! I think going to school really helped with this and I think he's learning the routine and schedule at school now. He gets in line after going to the bathroom and sits in the right place, in the right way (the school expects students to sit cross-legged and look forward while in line), and then gets up and follows his class back to their room. He's "getting it" I think.
He did have problems in the school bathroom with being silly and going in and locking all the stalls so the other boys couldn't use the toilet. And he did use the urinal to wash his hands--that still makes me dry heave. I went up to the school for a few days during potty time to make sure he was behaving in the bathroom. Hopefully, it's now resolved. At least I haven't heard back that he's still being silly in there. Or--gag, gag--using the urinal to wash his hands. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
We are still in the midst of testing so we'll see what happens after the testing scores come back. I do know he can read and sound out letters to read unfamiliar words. His handwriting needs work, but he's improving. He needs to work on math facts, but he's slowly coming along.
We did have issues with him at the cafeteria. He saw that there were chicken nuggets and cheese burgers and he figured it was free food (after all, the food at home is free). He'd finish his lunch, then go through the line to get what he wanted from the cafeteria. Of course, it wasn't free. And he wasn't punching in his pin number, they were doing that for him. Once I got the bill, I talked to the cafeteria manager and his teacher and others to make sure he doesn't keep getting food. I pack him a lunch every day. It may not be as exciting as chicken nuggets, but I make it for him with lots of love :).
School has definitely been an adjustment for all of us, but I think it's been a positive one. So far anyway.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Moving, School, Testing, Oh My!
We moved to Texas in August. That was quite the project in and of itself--moving 9 people, stuff, cars, etc. It took us two days to drive from Colorado to Texas (we spent the night along the way because I was too, too tired to keep driving).
Up to this point, I've been homeschooling my son. Except for the first two kids, I've homeschooled all the rest for kindergarten so I could make sure they were reading. Once you can read, you can do anything, but you have to have the basic building blocks to begin reading.
I've been working hard with my son over the last two years to help him gain that foundation. He is now reading simple words. And the most exciting part is that when he comes to a word he doesn't recognize, he is sounding it out and then saying it (a score on two counts because it means he's using the phonics I've taught him AND he's saying the words so it's helping with his speech).
One of the reasons we moved was to offer him more opportunities and experiences, including the opportunity to attend school. We researched areas and found that the school district we moved to has a good reputation for special needs education and opportunities.
We enrolled him in the neighborhood school per Texas law. Since he's never had any testing done, he is currently a regular student in the elementary school. We have asked for testing so we can see where he's at educationally and what his challenges may be. I already know that he recognizes letters and numbers and knows how to say them. I already know that he can read simple words like cat, dog, mom, dad, in, out, up, down, how, now, you, your, etc. I already know that he can put a simple sentence together based on a book he's read. The testing will give us more insight so we can create a unique educational plan suited to his specific needs.
We hope to keep him at the neighborhood school and keep him included in his class. He really likes his teacher and the kids in the class and his older sister attends this elementary school and makes sure he gets to class in the morning and picks him up after school to bring him to me. (She loves having this new responsibility).
We met with some of the school staff for a 504 meeting to give him some accommodations until the testing is completed and we can do a formal IEP. I was very pleased with the 504 meeting. The staff that attended was so positive and upbeat. His teacher said he has her heart and they all said they're just in love with him. But the best part was when they said that they went into this thinking about what they could do for him and what benefits they could offer him--it was all about what they could do for him. But, they've found that he's doing things for them. He's teaching kids in the class things they could never learn any other way. They are benefiting from him.
That makes a mama's heart so happy.
Yes, my son learns differently. Yes, he does some things differently. Yes, he speaks differently (for now). But different isn't bad, it's just different. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't run away from differences, but celebrated them and allowed each other to be different?
We've had a ton of adjustments in the last month. My son has done so well with all of them. His behavior is better now than when he started school. He's learning the schedule and routine of going to school. The kids wave to him and talk to him. The staff has been so kind to him. I know it's been difficult for his teacher to try to meet his needs along with 22 other kids and I'm hoping that one of the results of testing will be that he gets an aide--at least for a while.
For now, I feel good about things.
Up to this point, I've been homeschooling my son. Except for the first two kids, I've homeschooled all the rest for kindergarten so I could make sure they were reading. Once you can read, you can do anything, but you have to have the basic building blocks to begin reading.
I've been working hard with my son over the last two years to help him gain that foundation. He is now reading simple words. And the most exciting part is that when he comes to a word he doesn't recognize, he is sounding it out and then saying it (a score on two counts because it means he's using the phonics I've taught him AND he's saying the words so it's helping with his speech).
One of the reasons we moved was to offer him more opportunities and experiences, including the opportunity to attend school. We researched areas and found that the school district we moved to has a good reputation for special needs education and opportunities.
We enrolled him in the neighborhood school per Texas law. Since he's never had any testing done, he is currently a regular student in the elementary school. We have asked for testing so we can see where he's at educationally and what his challenges may be. I already know that he recognizes letters and numbers and knows how to say them. I already know that he can read simple words like cat, dog, mom, dad, in, out, up, down, how, now, you, your, etc. I already know that he can put a simple sentence together based on a book he's read. The testing will give us more insight so we can create a unique educational plan suited to his specific needs.
We hope to keep him at the neighborhood school and keep him included in his class. He really likes his teacher and the kids in the class and his older sister attends this elementary school and makes sure he gets to class in the morning and picks him up after school to bring him to me. (She loves having this new responsibility).
We met with some of the school staff for a 504 meeting to give him some accommodations until the testing is completed and we can do a formal IEP. I was very pleased with the 504 meeting. The staff that attended was so positive and upbeat. His teacher said he has her heart and they all said they're just in love with him. But the best part was when they said that they went into this thinking about what they could do for him and what benefits they could offer him--it was all about what they could do for him. But, they've found that he's doing things for them. He's teaching kids in the class things they could never learn any other way. They are benefiting from him.
That makes a mama's heart so happy.
Yes, my son learns differently. Yes, he does some things differently. Yes, he speaks differently (for now). But different isn't bad, it's just different. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't run away from differences, but celebrated them and allowed each other to be different?
We've had a ton of adjustments in the last month. My son has done so well with all of them. His behavior is better now than when he started school. He's learning the schedule and routine of going to school. The kids wave to him and talk to him. The staff has been so kind to him. I know it's been difficult for his teacher to try to meet his needs along with 22 other kids and I'm hoping that one of the results of testing will be that he gets an aide--at least for a while.
For now, I feel good about things.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Potty Training, Part 2
I'd been told that three days was the magic number, so when I tried potty-training before, I'd give up after three days. I have potty-trained 9 other kids, but my son was different, so I felt like I was in uncharted waters.
At the beginning of June, I decided we were going to potty-train, no matter what. I'd used diapers to try before because I didn't want potty messes all over the house. I think that was a mistake. I tried pull-ups and, for the same reason, I think that was a mistake. He knew he could potty in the diaper, and the pull-up, so there wasn't anything new or different about it.
I put him in underpants and told myself I just had to be willing to clean up messes. I told myself that'd be a small price to pay if it meant getting out of diapers.
Day one, I set him on the toilet. He didn't go. We waited and waited and waited. Finally, I let him off, but put underpants on him. When he had an accident, I whisked him into the bathroom and put him on the toilet. We waited and waited and waited. I'd read that it was important to let him actually go on the toilet, even if it meant waiting. That's what we did. We read books, sang songs, talked about going potty while he sat on toilet. Finally, he went. I did a big dance, clapped my hands, told him he was awesome. He loved all the attention.
I put him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so. If he had an accident, I put him right on the toilet and let him sit there until he went. At first, it took him a long time from sitting on the toilet to actually going, but by the end of the first week, he would go as soon as I sat him on the toilet. I still did big dances, clapped, and told him he was awesome.
The first week, we were probably 50-50 for accidents. A big improvement over diapers. I didn't give up after 3 days, I did not let him put on diapers at all, and I consistently asked him to go potty and put him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so. He knew I was serious because I wouldn't let him have diapers and because we kept going to the bathroom. I spent the majority of my days that week in the bathroom with him.
The second week, we were probably 25-75. He was improving. I sat him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so at the beginning, but lengthened it out toward the end of the week. By the end of the week, he started to tell me when he needed to go.
The third week, we were a little better, maybe 20-80. By this time, I was making him pull up his own underpants, flush the toilet, and wash his own hands. As soon as he started to pee in his pants, he'd run to the bathroom, so even though we still had accidents, they weren't very big and he was taking himself to the bathroom to finish.
The fourth week, we were at 10-90 and we worked on him wiping his own behind. During this week, I didn't go into the bathroom at all with him. He was taking care of it by himself--he did come and get me afterward to show me what he'd done in the toilet so I could give him high fives and tell him he was awesome. (He loves that attention).
We have not gone back to diapers. He's dry all night. He uses the toilet on his own and washes his hands by himself. He still has accidents here and there, but he takes his underpants to the laundry when he does and gets a new pair. We still get excited and do dances when he goes. Hopefully, we won't have to keep doing that indefinitely.
This won't work for all kids with Down syndrome, and it's important to pay attention to your child to see if he is ready and can understand what it means to use the toilet. For my son, he was stubborn. He liked diapers. I had to finally be committed to potty-training when we could stay home all week and I had to be more stubborn about it than he was about wearing diapers. This might have worked for him a few years ago, but I kept waiting for him to tell me he was ready, like my other kids had done, until I realized I had to be the one to insist he do it.
We are a step closer now to going to school. And we don't have to buy or change diapers. After 26 years, we are done with diapers. Wahooooooo!!!!
At the beginning of June, I decided we were going to potty-train, no matter what. I'd used diapers to try before because I didn't want potty messes all over the house. I think that was a mistake. I tried pull-ups and, for the same reason, I think that was a mistake. He knew he could potty in the diaper, and the pull-up, so there wasn't anything new or different about it.
I put him in underpants and told myself I just had to be willing to clean up messes. I told myself that'd be a small price to pay if it meant getting out of diapers.
Day one, I set him on the toilet. He didn't go. We waited and waited and waited. Finally, I let him off, but put underpants on him. When he had an accident, I whisked him into the bathroom and put him on the toilet. We waited and waited and waited. I'd read that it was important to let him actually go on the toilet, even if it meant waiting. That's what we did. We read books, sang songs, talked about going potty while he sat on toilet. Finally, he went. I did a big dance, clapped my hands, told him he was awesome. He loved all the attention.
I put him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so. If he had an accident, I put him right on the toilet and let him sit there until he went. At first, it took him a long time from sitting on the toilet to actually going, but by the end of the first week, he would go as soon as I sat him on the toilet. I still did big dances, clapped, and told him he was awesome.
The first week, we were probably 50-50 for accidents. A big improvement over diapers. I didn't give up after 3 days, I did not let him put on diapers at all, and I consistently asked him to go potty and put him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so. He knew I was serious because I wouldn't let him have diapers and because we kept going to the bathroom. I spent the majority of my days that week in the bathroom with him.
The second week, we were probably 25-75. He was improving. I sat him on the toilet every 30 minutes or so at the beginning, but lengthened it out toward the end of the week. By the end of the week, he started to tell me when he needed to go.
The third week, we were a little better, maybe 20-80. By this time, I was making him pull up his own underpants, flush the toilet, and wash his own hands. As soon as he started to pee in his pants, he'd run to the bathroom, so even though we still had accidents, they weren't very big and he was taking himself to the bathroom to finish.
The fourth week, we were at 10-90 and we worked on him wiping his own behind. During this week, I didn't go into the bathroom at all with him. He was taking care of it by himself--he did come and get me afterward to show me what he'd done in the toilet so I could give him high fives and tell him he was awesome. (He loves that attention).
We have not gone back to diapers. He's dry all night. He uses the toilet on his own and washes his hands by himself. He still has accidents here and there, but he takes his underpants to the laundry when he does and gets a new pair. We still get excited and do dances when he goes. Hopefully, we won't have to keep doing that indefinitely.
This won't work for all kids with Down syndrome, and it's important to pay attention to your child to see if he is ready and can understand what it means to use the toilet. For my son, he was stubborn. He liked diapers. I had to finally be committed to potty-training when we could stay home all week and I had to be more stubborn about it than he was about wearing diapers. This might have worked for him a few years ago, but I kept waiting for him to tell me he was ready, like my other kids had done, until I realized I had to be the one to insist he do it.
We are a step closer now to going to school. And we don't have to buy or change diapers. After 26 years, we are done with diapers. Wahooooooo!!!!
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Potty Training, Part 1
It's been a while since I've posted on this blog, but I have a great reason. Besides my other kids keeping me so busy I can hardly breathe this summer, we've been potty-training. Yay!!! Can I get a big "woo-hoo"?
When my son was born, I'd heard that he might not potty-train until he was older, like between 6 and 8. I didn't believe that. After all, I'd potty-trained 9 other children and I figured I'd be able to potty-train him at 3 or so. I also decided that the age at which he potty-trained would determine how well he'd do in other things. The later he potty-trained, the more likely he'd have other major issues.
I was wrong on both counts.
He was not interested in potty-training at 3 or 4. When he was 5, he was a little interested but not enough to actually follow through.
Last summer, when he was 6, I tried a few times but gave up after still having regular accidents 3 days into it. "Three days" seems to be the magic number, or so I thought, and when he wasn't potty-trained by then, I gave up. Another mistake. I don't think three days is any more magic than any other combination of days.
I also just used his diapers and took them off for him to use the toilet, only to discover he'd already used the diaper. I used underpants a few times, but not consistently.
Until now.
Disclaimer: this worked for him, but may not work for other kids. If you're like me, you're searching for any and all experiences with potty-training, so this may be worth a try. I think it's still important to keep in mind that each child is different and you need to pay attention to your own child's cues.
After changing diapers for 26 years, yes, that's right, 26 years, I decided that this summer was THE summer to potty-train. My son is 7 and we want to enroll him in school potty-trained. I didn't want others to deal with changing diapers. And, I also knew that he was more than capable of potty-training based on his actions and understanding. He was simply comfortable wearing diapers and making us change him.
(A side note: When I had him, I thought he was going to be happy all the time and always easy-going--that was the stereotype. But I've learned he can be very stubborn and have tunnel-vision for what he wants. He is happy a lot of the time, but not always, especially if he doesn't get what he wants).
This post is already too long. In my next post, I'll start into the process I used to potty-train.
When my son was born, I'd heard that he might not potty-train until he was older, like between 6 and 8. I didn't believe that. After all, I'd potty-trained 9 other children and I figured I'd be able to potty-train him at 3 or so. I also decided that the age at which he potty-trained would determine how well he'd do in other things. The later he potty-trained, the more likely he'd have other major issues.
I was wrong on both counts.
He was not interested in potty-training at 3 or 4. When he was 5, he was a little interested but not enough to actually follow through.
Last summer, when he was 6, I tried a few times but gave up after still having regular accidents 3 days into it. "Three days" seems to be the magic number, or so I thought, and when he wasn't potty-trained by then, I gave up. Another mistake. I don't think three days is any more magic than any other combination of days.
I also just used his diapers and took them off for him to use the toilet, only to discover he'd already used the diaper. I used underpants a few times, but not consistently.
Until now.
Disclaimer: this worked for him, but may not work for other kids. If you're like me, you're searching for any and all experiences with potty-training, so this may be worth a try. I think it's still important to keep in mind that each child is different and you need to pay attention to your own child's cues.
After changing diapers for 26 years, yes, that's right, 26 years, I decided that this summer was THE summer to potty-train. My son is 7 and we want to enroll him in school potty-trained. I didn't want others to deal with changing diapers. And, I also knew that he was more than capable of potty-training based on his actions and understanding. He was simply comfortable wearing diapers and making us change him.
(A side note: When I had him, I thought he was going to be happy all the time and always easy-going--that was the stereotype. But I've learned he can be very stubborn and have tunnel-vision for what he wants. He is happy a lot of the time, but not always, especially if he doesn't get what he wants).
This post is already too long. In my next post, I'll start into the process I used to potty-train.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Inventive Solutions
I've been homeschooling my son in hopes of teaching him to read before he enters school, or at least has the tools to begin reading. He knows all of his letters and knows most of the sounds each letter makes. He's been sounding out words he sees. He also spells out the words he sees on packages and signs.
I've been using several methods to help him learn to read, including a set of flashcards with familiar words (like the names of family members and food items). I'm supposed to show him these cards (red lettering on 8.5 x 11 white cardstock) 3 times a day. That gets a little boring day after day. So I started having him stand across the room and then we'd count together and he'd run over to me, say the word, take the card, and then set it on the table. That worked for a while.
He decided he'd turn the tables and have me run to him, he'd say the word on the card, I'd say the word, then he'd hand it to me, and I'd set it on the table. After each card he'd say, "Good job."
Now he's invented a couple of new ways. He counts backwards before he tells me to come get the card and he also uses his Nerf gun to shoot at the word cards. Pretty inventive, I'd say.
Last night, he initiated a game of Duck, Duck, Goose while the family was sitting in the living room. We played several rounds and he understood exactly how to play, who he wanted to be the "goose," and where he needed to sit so he didn't get tagged.
Today, he wanted to play again. Unfortunately, he and I are the only two home. After tagging each other as the goose a few times, he invented a solution. He found some inflated balloons we had around the house (we had a birthday party last week) and he set those next to me as part of our game. And, when he tagged one of the balloons as the goose, he squealed with laughter as I took the balloon and chased him around the room.
This probably seems silly, but to me it showed me that he recognized a problem and came up with a solution. He was bored with the way we were doing the flashcards so he came up with a new, more interesting way for him to do it. He also saw that only two of us playing the Duck, Duck, Goose game didn't make sense so he solved it in the best way he could. He thought about it and came up with a solution.
He may not be talking in long sentences, but he's thinking and he's solving problems that exist for him. For me, that's progress and I'll take it.
I've been using several methods to help him learn to read, including a set of flashcards with familiar words (like the names of family members and food items). I'm supposed to show him these cards (red lettering on 8.5 x 11 white cardstock) 3 times a day. That gets a little boring day after day. So I started having him stand across the room and then we'd count together and he'd run over to me, say the word, take the card, and then set it on the table. That worked for a while.
He decided he'd turn the tables and have me run to him, he'd say the word on the card, I'd say the word, then he'd hand it to me, and I'd set it on the table. After each card he'd say, "Good job."
Now he's invented a couple of new ways. He counts backwards before he tells me to come get the card and he also uses his Nerf gun to shoot at the word cards. Pretty inventive, I'd say.
Last night, he initiated a game of Duck, Duck, Goose while the family was sitting in the living room. We played several rounds and he understood exactly how to play, who he wanted to be the "goose," and where he needed to sit so he didn't get tagged.
Today, he wanted to play again. Unfortunately, he and I are the only two home. After tagging each other as the goose a few times, he invented a solution. He found some inflated balloons we had around the house (we had a birthday party last week) and he set those next to me as part of our game. And, when he tagged one of the balloons as the goose, he squealed with laughter as I took the balloon and chased him around the room.
This probably seems silly, but to me it showed me that he recognized a problem and came up with a solution. He was bored with the way we were doing the flashcards so he came up with a new, more interesting way for him to do it. He also saw that only two of us playing the Duck, Duck, Goose game didn't make sense so he solved it in the best way he could. He thought about it and came up with a solution.
He may not be talking in long sentences, but he's thinking and he's solving problems that exist for him. For me, that's progress and I'll take it.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Are We Any Better Than Hitler?
For the book club reading this month, I was reading, Sarah's Key. It is an absorbing novel about July 1942 when French citizens, who happened to be Jews, were rounded up and sent to their deaths. 13,000 French Jews, mostly women and children, were exterminated by order of Adolf Hitler.
The author alternates between the story of a young Jewish girl living in Paris in 1942 and the story of a middle-aged woman in modern times who is assigned to write a story about this event in French history. An event the French prefer to forget.
While the story is well-written, I admit that I stopped reading it. I'm not a fan of profanity and when I began a passage with the F-word I stopped reading the book.
Up to that point, I was riveted by the story and thought about the cruelty extended to a group of people simply because they were Jews. Hitler decided that they did not deserve to live simply because he thought Jews were inferior. Who gave him that right? And why on earth did so many people follow him? Why were so many willing to kill people--children especially? How could anyone do something like this? Why did so many turn their backs on the Jews and refuse to stop the insanity surrounding the Holocaust?
Then I have to ask myself, how are we, in our society, any different than Hitler? We have laws that protect the practice of killing innocent children every day. Over 3000 babies are aborted in this country every day. Yes, every day. Why? The majority are aborted because they are an inconvenience, because their mothers have decided they don't have the right to live. And we have groups like Planned PArenthood that applaud this so-called right.
For anyone who's read my blog before, you know that I have a son with Down syndrome. 9 out of 10 women whose pregnancies are diagnosed with Down syndrome choose to terminate the pregnancy. They choose to kill that growing baby simply because it has too many chromosomes. So I ask you, how is that any different than what Hitler did? We are outraged that he thought Jews were inferior. We say he was the devil himself to have killed so many innocent people, so many innocent children who didn't deserve to die. Yet, we consistently protect the right of women to do the same thing. Over and over and over again.
We like to see ourselves as advanced and pretend that our society is nothing like Hitler's. And yet, we are no different. Our politicians fight to protect a woman's right to kill her baby, as if that baby has no rights. Why? Because it is inside its mother's womb? Because it can't care for itself? If we were to apply that reasoning across the board then we'd have to say that all children fall into that category.
I cannot understand why any human being would do what Hitler did. I cannot see how he could justify any of his actions. I do not understand killing others because they seem to be inferior. I also do not understand how women's hearts can fail them and they can justify killing their own babies. In our country, women use abortion as birth control and our government wants to force businesses to allow women to do so through the healthcare they provide to employees, even if that business has strongly held religious beliefs (which is a violation of the business owner's rights). We are on the same road as Hitler once was. We are deciding who has the right to live and who does not. We pretend that we are better than Hitler, but we are not. Today we decide unborn babies can die at the whim of their mothers. What will tomorrow bring? When we disrespect the life of anyone, we disrespect the lives of everyone. How can we ever hope to teach people to stop killing innocent people in theaters and schools when we allow, and even advocate, the killing of our most innocent?
I think Mother Theresa said it best, "But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love, and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even his life to love us. So the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love - that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts. By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. "
And, "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
If we want society to respect life, if we want to stop the violence, we must first protect all human life.
The author alternates between the story of a young Jewish girl living in Paris in 1942 and the story of a middle-aged woman in modern times who is assigned to write a story about this event in French history. An event the French prefer to forget.
While the story is well-written, I admit that I stopped reading it. I'm not a fan of profanity and when I began a passage with the F-word I stopped reading the book.
Up to that point, I was riveted by the story and thought about the cruelty extended to a group of people simply because they were Jews. Hitler decided that they did not deserve to live simply because he thought Jews were inferior. Who gave him that right? And why on earth did so many people follow him? Why were so many willing to kill people--children especially? How could anyone do something like this? Why did so many turn their backs on the Jews and refuse to stop the insanity surrounding the Holocaust?
Then I have to ask myself, how are we, in our society, any different than Hitler? We have laws that protect the practice of killing innocent children every day. Over 3000 babies are aborted in this country every day. Yes, every day. Why? The majority are aborted because they are an inconvenience, because their mothers have decided they don't have the right to live. And we have groups like Planned PArenthood that applaud this so-called right.
For anyone who's read my blog before, you know that I have a son with Down syndrome. 9 out of 10 women whose pregnancies are diagnosed with Down syndrome choose to terminate the pregnancy. They choose to kill that growing baby simply because it has too many chromosomes. So I ask you, how is that any different than what Hitler did? We are outraged that he thought Jews were inferior. We say he was the devil himself to have killed so many innocent people, so many innocent children who didn't deserve to die. Yet, we consistently protect the right of women to do the same thing. Over and over and over again.
We like to see ourselves as advanced and pretend that our society is nothing like Hitler's. And yet, we are no different. Our politicians fight to protect a woman's right to kill her baby, as if that baby has no rights. Why? Because it is inside its mother's womb? Because it can't care for itself? If we were to apply that reasoning across the board then we'd have to say that all children fall into that category.
I cannot understand why any human being would do what Hitler did. I cannot see how he could justify any of his actions. I do not understand killing others because they seem to be inferior. I also do not understand how women's hearts can fail them and they can justify killing their own babies. In our country, women use abortion as birth control and our government wants to force businesses to allow women to do so through the healthcare they provide to employees, even if that business has strongly held religious beliefs (which is a violation of the business owner's rights). We are on the same road as Hitler once was. We are deciding who has the right to live and who does not. We pretend that we are better than Hitler, but we are not. Today we decide unborn babies can die at the whim of their mothers. What will tomorrow bring? When we disrespect the life of anyone, we disrespect the lives of everyone. How can we ever hope to teach people to stop killing innocent people in theaters and schools when we allow, and even advocate, the killing of our most innocent?
I think Mother Theresa said it best, "But I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love, and we remind ourselves that love means to be willing to give until it hurts. Jesus gave even his life to love us. So the mother who is thinking of abortion, should be helped to love - that is, to give until it hurts her plans, or her free time, to respect the life of her child. The father of that child, whoever he is, must also give until it hurts. By abortion, the mother does not learn to love, but kills even her own child to solve her problems. And by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world. That father is likely to put other women into the same trouble. So abortion just leads to more abortion. Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. That is why the greatest destroyer of love and peace is abortion. "
And, "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
If we want society to respect life, if we want to stop the violence, we must first protect all human life.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
My Son is Reading
Any of you who know me, know that my youngest son has Down syndrome. I have been homeschooling him this year in hopes of preparing him to enter school next year.
I have taught all of my children to read. I homeschool them for kindergarten so that I can make sure they learn to read. I believe that reading is the most important academic skill they can have because if they can read, then the whole world is open to them.
For most of my kids, I have used the Spalding method, which is a phonics-based program. I also used Hooked on Phonics for some of my kids. I believe phonics-based approaches give kids the tools to decipher words and think it is the best way to teach kids to read.
Then I started teaching my youngest son. Everything I knew, or thought I knew, went out the window. I had to start from scratch and figure out how to best teach him to read. I read a lot of articles and books that said I needed to use sight words with him. So I made up flashcards with familiar words. We did that for a while, but it seemed like he needed more.
So I went back to teaching him the sounds of each letter. We do sound cards each day and he has been sounding out words now when we read. He has also learned many sight words. He still struggles with how to say the words, but he knows them.
One day, I suddenly had the idea to take the Hooked on Phonics books that I've used and make a flashcard for each word in the book beginning with book #1. I say the word and have him pick out the flashcard. I also say a sentence from the book and then have him find the corresponding words on the flashcards and lay them out into a sentence. It's working really well. He is not only recognizing the sight words, but he's also sounding out words using his knowledge of the sounds of the letters, which means he's improving his verbal skills.
The other day, we read Brown Bear, Brown Bear. I was astonished, and excited, when he started reading the book. I read the first part and he read the second part on each page. And he actually read it verbally. Yay!!!
So I know that he's beginning to read and, even better, he is saying words and using his verbal skills. It's been a long time coming, but I am so thankful to see this progress.
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